So ready to be out of school or
More ready to be out of Conway
This place is relentless in its annoyance.
Always knock knock "Hey Ben, have you seen _________"
"Hey Ben, you mind if I hang out while contributing nothing to the conversation, my life, or the betterment of society."
God damnit fuckers. Do you ever hang out with people you actually like, or is it the people who live in proximity you like to drive bananas. Because you can't drive, because you don't have a car, because you refuse to go to school or get a job. When is the last time I've been to visit you??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I don't even know where you live, and lets keep it that way.
In line at the grocery store it was behind this lady who was fat. Her kids, who had to be 5 and 7, were also becoming fat. All they had in their cart was junk food, i.e. three bags of Halloween candy and 2-two leader cokes. I felt pity for the children because they were being raised in a life of obesity. 8 ounces of sugar in drinks, candy, hamburgers, not to mention diabetes and prescription pills, will all be normal and life just wont be as 'sweet' without them. What is sweet is life without guilt; guilt whose source is known but seldom acknowledged. So what of the mother who is inadvertently poisoning her most cherished relationships in life, what is she guilty of. Ignorance, sure. A false sense of security, sure. How far does her extent of blame go, do we blame her for poisoning her children when she is broke and this is all she can afford? Do we blame the makers of such unnecessary 'food', or the market for demanding it. Do we blame the advertisers for crafting commercials that enforce a belief that we must have these products, do we blame the researchers who discovered how to make the human subconscious crave these empty calories with their bright colors and flashy advertisement. Do we blame the CEO's for exploiting human weakness for a shit ton of money, do we blame the government for giving us the right to make bad decisions? Ask anyone in any of these fields and they will tell you the blood is not on their hands. I believe, however, that the blood is everywhere: On you, on me, on the CEO's, on the government, on the workers in the factories. We are to distracted with fucking football, celebrity's, and what passes as news these days to begin to care, and thats just easiest for all parties involved. Blood is the new clean
It is so hard to find people to relate to these days; it's frustrating. The people around me I either reject imminently out of my environment because they come with such an incredible sense of negativity, or are genuinely amazing people but are sooooooo self-righteous and ethnocentric that any opposing point of view or paradigm they will imminently shut down any sense of wonder or open mindless. I'm just ready for a dynamic relationship with one who is also open minded, thoughtful, caring, playful, and has a sense of purpose (also assuming you don't leave the fucking state). I'm so tired of sounds and noises: touches and smiles is all thats now required. I'm actually extremely good at reading body language, no need to talk or explain about who you want to be, show me with a gesture or yell at me with an stern look. Don't ever say you love me, open up your onion and show me the pure humanity within; the trust alone feels more like love than any vibration you could summon.
I know I'm on a different path than everyone I've met. But I'm strong, I can pick myself up and follow through. I get tired of fighting though, and I know when I get tired of pushing against the contentious current that it is time to rest. There is no where to rest, and even the greatest strength fades when it has nothing to resonate against. I thrive off of new angles of which to look through life, and I get pleasure from doing the same for you.
"Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free "
I need to get out of here. I know who I am, but I need to find someone else who knows too.
