Story of the Outlier

From time to time I get overwhelmed. This is easy to do in a world filled with so much beautiful information, but occasionally I have to step back. I love really diving in and experiencing something that resonates within me, however, I feel that I build up and build up and surround myself with all these beautiful ideas until I find that I have been building walls around me. Occasionally I must tear them down.  

Want to know true stability? Find the most important thing in life - the place where all other ideas and inspiration come from - and either remove it or imagine it removed. Does everything else collapse?  Identify the central things in life that you identify with: being in a certain role like a parent or in a particular relationship, having a certain car, being the best at something, being talented something, etc. What is the crux on which your universe spins? I have a friend who said that if it was proved that Jesus wasn’t resurrected then he would renounce Christianity.  That is a weak conviction if the entire spiritual structure of his reality could be renounced based off of one thing not being true.  Before there was even a problem in my past relationship, I imagined life without her because I wanted to be independent of my need for her. We eventually split up, but I didn't base my entire identity on her so I wasn’t completely lost and I didn’t have to restart my life.  Life always has a way of finding the most important, central sacred thing or belief, and completely destroying it.  It is a catalyst for change.  Whatever ‘concrete’ thing that we define ourselves by will always be lost and you will be forced to become a new you.  Try not to place too much emphasis on one thing to define who you are. 


Another good exercise is to lay in bed and 'forget' what stage in life, or health, you are currently in. I have found myself in fear doing this because I forgot what my physical condition was and, at that moment, all possible versions of self were real. What if I really was old, and that my youth was only a dream. One day this will be my reality, and the sooner I accept and embrace the fear the less it will control me.


Each of our paths are unique. We should each behave in our own nature and not follow the unoriginality of the crowd. In doing so we lose our individuality, which in turn robs from the complex and miraculous tapestry of humanity. I have seen this occur in a spiritual context. It is possible to follow the crowd with ideas like the universal makeup of reality. Spirituality is a deeply personal journey that we are each individually on.  To follow others is a distraction and will slow the journey. Knowledge unravels itself in a very particular way so that we may best understand it. There will always be a need for advice and guidance, but following others without trusting your own divine instinct will not produce enlightenment.

The journey is about facing fear and giving up incomplete ideas in exchange for something that is more true. It’s about becoming a better person because you looked at yourself in the most honest light possible and embraced all of yourself. Occasionally you lose friends because your journey takes you away from their values. That is an acceptable, and sometimes necessary, occurrence on your journey. They are on their journey too. The journey is about burning down walls so something more beautiful can grow. The journey is about achieving True freedom within yourself.  

WE ARE ALL GENIUS.  

Imagine yourself without your friends, without your colorful cloths and the artifacts in your room.  Imagine that you are all alone with no physical scrap of identity left.  Who are you?  Would you hold on to what you have now and try to get it all back, or would you let it fall away?  Imagine that one pure idea, whatever your ‘Resurrection’ idea is, as being proved false.  What out of your current belief structure survives?  What is your core?  What would drive you to continue to live?